Relationships

Practical tips for a long-distance relationship

Here’s some tips from my experience with LDR. This is how we survive the distance, things we probably wouldn’t use or do if we lived closeby.

Apps that go the distance:

  • Couple – track anniversaries, draw artwork together even when apart, “thumb kiss” where both phones vibrate when your thumbs touch the same place on your phone screen
  • Final Countdown (Apple or Android) – count down to the day you see each other again
  • Glympse – track their location as they drive to meet up with you

 

Gifts that go the distance:

  • A notebook – Josh got us a notebook last Christmas! I document our life for a few weeks and what we do together & apart, and when we see each other he takes it and has his turn. It’s neat to have it all documented. Maybe don’t bring the notebook on your first date though 😉 wait a bit haha.
  • Travel-size of your cologne/perfume – once again, this is not a first date thing. But it’s nice to spray a pillow or hoodie with your S/O scent when you can’t have them around 🙂
  • Audiobooks or comedy CD’s – for the long commutes
  • Extra car chargers, bluetooth speaker, essential oil car diffuser – anything to make the car a little more ready for that roadtrip
  • Suitcase – because I’m tired of stuffing 3 duffle bags with all my luggage

 

Finally, a reminder that goes the distance:

The long-distance is difficult to the extent that the significant other is so great. It’s one of those mathematical correlation things. See, I put it in graph form so it must be true:

super-scientifical-analysis-of-ldr

So take heart! If it’s difficult to be apart for long periods of time, that probably means you’re in a great relationship 🙂

 

Bonus tidbit: I wouldn’t have these ideas without my long-distance boyfriend of course, so I asked him what his tip would be. Answer: “Communicate alot. Talk alot when you’re apart.” We couldn’t decide if that makes it easier to be apart haha, but we definitely agreed it keeps the relationship strong while we’re apart. So do that! 🙂

Blog Signature - Crisper

Mental Health, Relationships

When you drive 230 miles thu a snowstorm for your long-distance bf

It starts with dancing to Lady Gaga while cruising through the flurries. Not a care in the world. It goes downhill though, beware.

Here’s how it happened for me:

Halfway through it got rough. Ice on my windshield wipers kept them from clearing my windshield, and I was seeing through a sliver.

It was one of those moments where I knew God is for me in an overall sense, but then I start analyzing whether my greatest good and His greatest glory will actually come from me dying or at least suffering a horrific car crash. And hoping that His glory comes from, ya know, me being safe and sound in my car and then cozied up at Josh’s. (World, meet my boyfriend Josh.)

I finally found a gas station to clean my windshield at, but got stuck in the middle of the road because the town hadn’t plowed their roads yet. That’s when I burst into tears the first time (lol and also, ya know, not funny)…

then I got back on the road and was sliding all around the interstate while cars raced past me. Even though I was in the town right next to my destination, I thought about stopping at a hotel because I wasn’t sure I’d make it.

I was most positive I would die, or at least enter a horrific coma, when Josh told me his coworker was driving just a couple miles away from me on the same interstate. I was like, ya know how this works right? Too big a coincidence, snowstorm and closeby coworker means one of the following:

  1. I crash and die and Josh calls his coworker to go check on me and make sure I’m alive but of course I’m not
  2. I crash and go unconscious so I can’t respond to Josh and Josh calls his coworker to check on me and the coworker rushes to save my life and get me to the hospital

 

That’s how it’d happen in the movies anyhow 🙂

 

But I did in fact make it and pulled into Josh’s alleyway, only to get stuck there. Burst into tears a second time because I was so close but also so so far. After awhile, I was able to back out and park on the street.

 

The trip which usually takes 3.5-4hrs actually took almost 6.5 hrs. And I told Josh I’m never visiting him again during inclement weather, unless he’s on his deathbed or stranded and freezing.

 

Luckily, the ride home was fine. I saw a few people on the side of the road, and got stuck in traffic for 45 minutes from someone else’s car crash, but I at least had no problems.

So if you’re thinking of driving through a snowstorm this winter, cozy up by the fireplace with a book instead. Or face the consequences 😛

 

Blog Signature - Crisper

 

Relationships

Once Upon a Budding Romance

 

14352559_10100347044029752_795721094441323780_o

It’s been a year since we started dating. What was that first date like?

  • He accidentally gave me the address to an abandoned warehouse for us to meet.
  • We figured out ahead of time and then joked that he was a serial killer.
    • I really hoped he wasn’t a serial killer.
  • We got coffee and played Speed Scrabble. He won at Speed Scrabble and I tried not to mind even though he’s Biology guy and I’m the Literature gal.
  • He had a surprise to take me to. I hopped in his car, telling him I’d call 911 if he turned out to be a serial killer.
    • I really really hoped he wasn’t a serial killer.
    • He did NOT pull a gun on me.
    • Am I an idiot?
  • He took me to the Japanese Gardens. I was impressed, that a guy could surprise a girl with an actually good surprise on their first time meeting.
  • We took a walk in the park and talked about my like and his dislike of abstract art.
    • When we walked through an abandoned tunnel in the park, we joked that this is where the murder happens.
    • I really hoped he wasn’t a serial killer.
  • I slipped in the mud and fell about an inch into the river.
    • I apologized for my shoes if they accidentally got mud in his car. He said he didn’t care.
    • I don’t know if I believe him.
  • We ended the night at a Japanese restaurant.
  • It was also prom night, so we were surrounded by fancy-dressed high schoolers.
  • We returned to my car in the empty coffee-shop parking lot. We parted ways.
    • I lived to see another day.

 

And on this one year anniversary, my writerly/readerly self knows all so well that you can know someone for years and years and never find out they’re a serial killer….until it’s too late 😉

 

Blog Signature - Crisper

Mental Health, Musings of a Creative, Relationships

Living is the Hardest Part

“We say that writing is the hardest part, but I think that living is the hardest part.”

 

I haven’t written much in the past 6 months. And I wasn’t okay with it.

How long can a writer go without writing and still be called a writer? 

I wasn’t okay. Until I had this quote come up in my Facebook memories –

 

“We say that writing is the hardest part, but I think that living is the hardest part.”

Hannah Brencher said that in a class I took about a year ago. (P.S. Everyone go take her class or read her blog or follow her facebook/twitter/instagram or buy her book. You can’t regret it.)

 

The truth is, I haven’t been writing lately. I’ve been living. And learning to live. I explored new places. I met new people, and am learning not to panic about it. I actually have had multiple sunburns this summer. I’m living.

 

I’m still not entirely okay with not writing. I’m more emotional. (Can you believe it? Me, more emotional than I already am!? And my boyfriend gets the brunt of it, and – get this – still likes me! He’s a keeper 🙂 ) I feel a bit like I’m floating around without an anchor, not really sure where I’m going in life or what I’m working towards.

So I have to write. But I have to live. I have to intentionally choose both writing and living and know when to choose which. That’s what I’m learning right now.

 

I don’t know what that means for this blog. I hope to get back to weekly postings. You can count on me posting semi-regularly on Thursdays. Upcoming posts you’ll hear more of what I’ve been up to. And thinking. And living. Who knows 🙂 Thanks for sticking with me!

 

 

Blog Signature - Crisper

Relationships

Once Upon 6 Months Ago…

There was a handsome prince who scoured the land. We call him a snowman. Or Wisconsin Guy. Or more commonly, Josh.

He came upon this princess here. We call her a penguin. Or Amy L Sauder. Or just Amy, I suppose.

 

In his attempts to woo this princess, he accidentally created a blog….oops? He wrote this. And this.  And this. Isn’t he perfect? 🙂

624_10100265704300222_7811345328839324241_n

 

He noticed she was without a whisk, so he bought her one. He noticed she was without flowers on a sad day, so he sent her some. He noticed she was without a boyfriend, and he swept her off her feet.

 

And as of Saturday of this week, they’ll have known each other for 6 months.

12670193_10100263819302772_3997723919246126080_n

So most my posts aren’t gonna wax eloquent about my amazing Wisconsin guy, but this one will. I’ve loved these 6 months and it’s just not enough time. Maybe in 3000 weeks we can reevaluate, but I think I want to spend just about every minute with you, my Wisconsin Guy.

 

Blog Signature - Crisper

Relationships, Stories to Read Right Now

Penguins Can’t Love Snowmen

He just showed up out of nowhere, all prim and proper with his top-hat and button-up. She tried to style with her tux, but the waddling and flops don’t quite work for that. He says it’s endearing. Still, her wings can’t straighten the mess of hair atop her head, and well no one ever offered her a hat like his. Of course, penguins can’t love snowmen.

Snowmen are around people and well, penguins can’t do people. The crowds, the laughter, the cheeriness when all penguins do is squawk. People make her shudder. So penguins stay far away – far away from people and cheer and snowmen. No, penguins can’t love snowmen.

Funny thing about penguins – they’re a flight risk. Just waiting for the snow to melt, to leave them out in the heat suffocating and sweltering and the people stand around and gawk at penguin bumbling. “Perform for us, penguin, do your silly way.”

Maybe being with a snowman, there’s always a little bit of winter around. And yet penguins can’t love snowmen.

His carefully crafted smile is worth measures of penguin attempts where beaks can’t turn upward. He props his hat on her head, and it doesn’t quite fit, but maybe that’s just how it should fit – off-kilter is the penguin way, right? Her waddles forward are okay when paired with a snowman that can roll with the punches. But penguins can’t love snowmen.

She asks if he’ll ever melt.

She asks if she can waddle slowly and he’ll take his time as if it’s a natural pace.

He says the snow will stick for “another 3000 weeks, at least.”

He says 3000 weeks is enough time for some waddling about.

The funny thing about snowmen is maybe they’re as real as penguins. And I’m not quite sure why penguins can’t just love snowmen.

 

 

Blog Signature - Crisper

My Creative Projects, Relationships, Stories to Read Right Now

Poem: Happy UnBirthday

With recent birthday celebrations, I thought I’d share a little poem I wrote awhile back for some friends’ birthdays I missed. I make belated birthday greetings all the rage 🙂 Let me add that this is even more brilliant when spoken aloud in a ridiculous voice!

Happy Unbirthday

Happy Unbirthday to You.
I speak to all of us here of course,
But specifically Amber & Kim who
I really wish a happy unbirthday as a matter of course.

You see, while all of us have an unbirthday today,
Amber & Kim celebrated their un-unbirthday not long ago.
So while we all can celebrate our unbirthday in some way,
Only Amber & Kim can celebrate it today so close –
To their un-unbirthday.

Here all us unbirthday fellows sit around,
In joyous occasion of our recent un-unbirthday comrades.
And really us unbirthday folk celebrate year-round,
Except for one un-unbirthday a year we celebrate scads.

And now, to the recent un-unbirthday two
Present and accounted for.
We almost got to enjoy the occasion with you,
But now we’ll just have to wait 364 – or 348 – unbirthdays more.

Blog Signature - Crisper